Log in

09 September 2008 @ 11:33 am
Fic: Psychiatric Help Needed  


Psychiatric Help Needed


Summary: Drusilla sees a psychiatrist.

 Word Count: 500.

 A/N: Crackfic inspired by a comment on one of my FRR rants. Basically, I went off on a fic that was trying and failing spectacularly to magically (metaphorically, there were no witch-y spells) make Drusilla sane again. I wrote a joke about how Drusilla would need very serious therapy, and that is if she didn’t eat her therapist first. Fellow FFR member

whiffler  wanted to read such a story, so hypnotized me with her Angel avatar to make me write it :P Hope y’all enjoy this little offering.


 Disclaimer: I don’t own BtVS/AtS or any of its characters. They belong to Joss Whedon, FOX and ME. I just borrow them sometimes, to beat them up with a baseball bat.

 Dedication: Whiffler and her Hypnotizing Icon.



Raymond Walonsky had treated hundreds of patients in his 25 years as a psychiatrist, but this woman sitting before him was nothing he had ever come across before.


For nearly five hours, she had kept talking, in a trance-like state, about singing birds, dancing stars and goldfishes that were apparently swimming around in the air. Not to mention, that doll, ‘Miss Edith’, she kept in a tight grip and talked to as if it was a live person.


Raymond was sad to admit it, but this beautiful young woman before him was beyond repair. She was a goner. Not all the psychiatric help in this world could do anything for her.


“…They sing to me...the flowers wilt and tell me their secrets...” Drusilla sighed, rocking the doll back and forth.


The psychiatrist cleared his throat, “Well, Miss Drusilla, I think that’s enough.” He got up from his seat, looking at his wrist watch, “You can go outside now.”


“Why, do you not like me here?” the vampiress asked innocently, staring up at Raymond with wide eyes.


“That’s not it, Miss Drusilla.” Maybe it was, but it’d be rude to admit it, “I just need to talk to your boyfriend and, err, Daddy.” Another reason he thought she was crazy, because that man certainly wasn’t old enough to be her father.


Drusilla cocked her head, observing the man before her, and smiled. Raymond felt a shudder go down his spine. He didn’t like that smile.


“Daddy said he wants more corpses.” She cooed softly as she stood up, “More delightful corpses so the dirty Slayer will know.”


“C-corpses?” Raymond stuttered, then took several steps back when Drusilla started moving towards him.


“Pretty people, lying on the floor, all covered in red.” She sang in a soft voice, “Wouldn’t you like to be one of them?” Raymond squawked loudly in terror when her face changed. Topaz eyes stared at him intently, “Wouldn’t you?”




“Y’know, not that I don’t like the bloodshed and all,” Spike began as the screams started, flicking his cigarette to the floor, “but why kill psychiatrists? I mean, there are better ways to go about starting a massacre and distressing the Slayer than dragging Dru to shrinks’ offices.” It bored the shit out of him. He wanted in on the fun, not sitting outside in a dusty old waiting room and getting to kill receptionists that didn’t even try to run.


Angelus smirked evilly, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back in his seat.


“Well…?” the blond asked again.


“Well, William,” he threw an arm around the shorter vampire, much to said vampire’s chagrin, “I wanted to see whether or not today’s medicine and its people could cure my handiwork.”


“You’re kidding me? That’s what this is all about?” Spike gawked as Angelus threw his head back and laughed, “Seven soddin’ head-shrinkers, five wasted nights—and you were challenging modern medicine?”


Angelus’ smirk widened, “And I’m winning.”


Spike needed another smoke.



Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: TV, *loud* TV
The Mezzanine: Darla Drusilladeird1 on September 9th, 2008 07:44 pm (UTC)
Well done! That was extremely entertaining.
May: Willow + Vamp!Willow = OTP!creativesmurph on September 10th, 2008 05:11 am (UTC)
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it :)
Quite the prickly pear: Angel/Angeluswhiffler on September 9th, 2008 08:19 pm (UTC)
Go you!

I LIKE the motivation for the experiment!
May: Because Spangel is lovecreativesmurph on September 10th, 2008 05:18 am (UTC)
Hee, thank you :)

That kind of came to me out of nowhere. I was first planning a fic where Drusilla just violently kills the psychiatrist. But it just felt wrong to me without a reason (plus, with the violent scene, I had gone way past the 500 word limit I'd set for myself :P)

Glad you like it, though! :)
We are unusual and tragic and alive.blueinkedlines on September 9th, 2008 09:39 pm (UTC)
This absolutely made my day. Thanks for sharing this! ♥
May: here with mecreativesmurph on September 10th, 2008 05:19 am (UTC)
You're welcome! :)
Beer Good: Herb - The Dork Avengerbeer_good_foamy on September 9th, 2008 11:51 pm (UTC)
Heee! I'm sure it takes a lot to surprise a Sunnydale psychiatrist, but this would be one way... and I love Angelus' smugness.
May: FIGHTcreativesmurph on September 10th, 2008 05:30 am (UTC)
Smug!Angelus is always awesome :D

Thank you for the comment! :)
Cath: dampers spikestars_of_tears on September 24th, 2008 06:39 pm (UTC)
this was delightful!
Maycreativesmurph on September 24th, 2008 06:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :) Glad you enjoyed it.
Rebcake: passionrebcake on September 25th, 2008 06:14 am (UTC)
I'm glad Angelus wasn't around for the heyday of electroshock therapy and frontal lobotomy. I wouldn't like our Dru to have to go through all that! This was very good, indeed.
May: FIGHTcreativesmurph on September 25th, 2008 06:20 am (UTC)

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it :)
hello_spikeyhello_spikey on January 5th, 2009 09:32 pm (UTC)

Funny, to the point... and Angelus would do that... arrogant bastard. :D
Maycreativesmurph on January 6th, 2009 10:06 am (UTC)
He really is :D What makes him so great.

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it :)
louise39: y Dru   hands togetherlouise39 on January 5th, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC)

“Seven soddin’ head-shrinkers, five wasted nights—and you were challenging modern medicine?”
Giggle at the image of them in the outer offices.

Came via a rec by deird1 at [buffyversetop5].
Maycreativesmurph on January 6th, 2009 10:16 am (UTC)
Yes, I just loved that idea of them sitting outside for hours. I imagined Spike would be grumbling to Angelus about how boring it was all the time.

Thank you for the comment! :)
yourlibrarian: AnyaTop5-kathyhyourlibrarian on January 6th, 2009 12:10 am (UTC)
Here from buffyversetop5
Oooh. I love the way fic always makes Angelus more evil than he ever was on the show.
Maycreativesmurph on January 6th, 2009 10:20 am (UTC)
Re: Here from buffyversetop5
Thank you for the comment! :)
fanfictionaddic on January 6th, 2009 07:36 am (UTC)
That was so good.
Maycreativesmurph on January 6th, 2009 10:20 am (UTC)
Thank you! :)